The Great Escape

I have lost
my moorings.
like a large hot-air balloon
rising slowly on a cold morning 
off the dusty plains of Cappadocia
I rise, and abandon myself
to the winds of fate
a silence descends
as I ascend
all my attachments, relations, 
possessions, obsessions
left behind
powerless to stop my slow but steady climb
to altitudes yet unknown
they now seem 
to diminish in size
due to the exalted perspective of my
new position
I acknowledge
that I am rudderless
at the mercy of winds unknown
yet i am not scared
or anxious 
about my destination
I know that fate
has also lost the power 
to direct me towards doom
as i have , seemingly, 
wrested control
I rise 
higher and higher
towards infinity
my movement 
relatively infinitesmal
the reality of the ground
lost in the vastness of space
as distance slowly obscures it from view
The appreciation of 
I
diminishes
as, below, the ashes of my mortality
scatter in the wind
my work is done
 I feel the cool wind on my cheek
the warmth of the sun rising
I am content
I am free
I am one.

Split second enlightenment......

...adrift , on the sea of life.....
we are on different oceans
driven by different tides and winds
from different ports
towards the same destination?

....a chance storm, jagged lightning strike
lights up the darkness
that separates us
i see you from another lifetime 
recognition ignites my being
sparks from the depth of my soul
...........did you see me too?

a destiny that may or may not be
till then, I love another -  equally
my two destinies, past and present
crush the breath from my lungs.....

and, breathless, i wait ...
for another chance
another lifetime.......


it doesn't really matter
when
all I want 
is recognition
a reminder of
our immortality......

Culprit

Am I a victim

of circumstance?

helplessly drifting

on life's stormy seas

to my present unenviable state?

Or

Am I a culprit

of all my indiscretions?

Is anyone truly

a master of their fate?

Should i therefore

be responsible for all that I did

and all that happened

to me?

Or

Should i shift the onus onto

fickle fate

and absolve myself of

all guilt and responsibility?

Is this action true and good

or only directed towards

the preservation of vanity?

the last shreds

of

my stressed-out sanity?

Delusions of grandeur

illusions of control

marionettes jerking along

to the haphazard

ministrations of life

we live love hate

in peace war strife

I loved someone once

I know I still do

I don't really know

if she loves me any more

we built an edifice

together

seemingly for eternity

it teeters and totters today

on cornerstones of

deception and miscommunication

repressed angst causing

incompatibility

how did this all come to pass

was it all in vain

how did we substitute

all our passion for pain?

we pay the price for our follies

of present and past lives

sentient energy beings

fleshed out to feel the knives

but

shouldn't understanding

bring forgiveness and peace?

faith in our

immortality

finally tame the beast?

maybe time will dull

this ache inside

deaden all feeling

quieten the tide

maybe all was a lesson

that was meant to be learnt

spreading myself too thin

recipe for fingers burnt

I know

there's a message

in there somewhere

enshrouded in the darkness

of loneliness laid bare

I'll look for it

in the ashes later.....

right now, I can't

as I'm deafened

by the pounding inside

and constantly blinded

by the incessant

tears in my eyes

too jaded

to move on

I try not to fall apart

look inside for the magic

hidden deep inside my heart

Forget the hurt and abuse

push away the pettiness

and rise above

I huff and puff

desperately

trying to stoke

the embers

of a once magnificent love

My soul

laid bare to the elements

nothing left to hide

Culprit or victim?

Who will decide?